One of my father’s favorite sayings was “Say what you mean and mean what you say”. It was his

adaptation of the Golden Rule which used to be taught in society and furthermore, in school.

This May I am graduating from college (one of the elite East Coast ones). I am not wealthy, I

know no one famous, nor was I aided in admissions beyond my own merit. After a lack-luster

high school career, I joined the work force and began a 20-year career as a Texas truck driver. It

was not until I turned 40, that I questioned if I had been undervaluing my capabilities.

My efforts were accompanied with consternation and concern. I was surprised to excel beyond

my own prescribed limitations. My concern, or rather dismay, is that I failed to tap my well of

possibility sooner and drain away doubt.

The first two years of junior college were amazing, and I was able to meet several students

within my demographic. A sizable amount of the class body consisted of older or ‘non-

traditional’ students who were returning to school to either change careers or advance their

prospects. The collective moved forward in agreement that the standard of achievement was

equitable and immutable. I failed to witness any attempt to equalize outcome despite the breadth

of the congregation. Each student assumed responsibility to produce results equal to their

counterparts juxtapose a preexisting metric.

Surprised that I had done so well in junior college, I was far more surprised to be accepted to an

elite college. Common(er) rationalization suggest that colleges of that caliber remain exclusively

accessible for people of similar composition; they are not for simple people like me. However,

the reality is that admissions panels search for students who are either adapted to success or

possess adaptability for success. The former implies students who have been groomed early on

and now mirror professionalism, the latter alludes to people who have proven they can accel and

assimilate under adverse conditions.

In no manner would I, nor do I want to degrade the value or dismiss the benefits of higher

academia. I only question the social education derived in universities today. In the following

years of my education, I often witnessed students who believed that they, and they alone, were to

be the standard bearer of merit. In their perspective, each student was to be awarded via an

infinite chart of exceptional achievement. There were no evaluations, no judgements, and no

consultation of societal norms that could be rendered before evidence-free deliberations

transpired and triumphed.

While I scrambled to learn the workings of modern technology during the pandemic induced

lockdown, they demanded stress affiliated leniency. In my high school graduation year only one-

third of Americans owned a personal computer, and the first iPhone entered the market when I

was 30.

While I fought to recall high school English rules, they fought to redefine vocabulary to their

liking.

While I struggled to remember any kind of math beyond basic arithmetic, they formulated a

broad scale dataset to deduce their level of oppression.

• Unlike junior college, my last two years were spent alone. I did not understand the arguments

  that my fellow students were passionate about. I remained distance from other students for

  ethical reasons, as I would not want my teenager in social proximity to a middle-aged man. I did

  not speak up when professors began a historical anecdote with “You don’t remember, but back

  when…”, and thereby reminding me I did not belong. I did not ask for unearned merit or special

  considerations at any juncture in my journey. I accepted that I was the outlier, I was not being

  unfairly burdened, and I was not being oppressed by an institution that systemically caters to the

  youth.

  If YOU mean what you say and say what you mean, then I will accept my awards now. I am due

  recognition for overcoming exceptional challenges in achieving the same outcome. The last two

  years have been strenuously challenging. I have had to combine ongoing education with

  previously unlearned skill-sets whilst being required to perform to the academic bar. The

  outcomes are the same, but my inputs were far greater. I demand compensation for my

  inequality!

  If I mean what I say and say what I mean, then I say this: I would dismiss any merit for

  achievement not beyond the average outcome. Everyone possesses inequality in some form or

  another and nobody is the exception to this. Standards are there for a reason and if you fail to

  meet those standards, try harder or find something else that you can excel at. You are not special,

  I am not special, stop trying to change outcomes to standardize your outlook, instead look out for

  opportunities to change yourself and not the standards that you feel oppress you.